As I sit at my desk I can’t help but think about what it has taken for me to be here. This time last year I was very excited to be done with my master’s degree. Nothing had been so tough as completing the masters with its grueling three months of dissertation writing. I was glad I had tackled the buffalo in the room. I felt like I was about to conquer the world. Above all, I was filled with enthusiasm and hope to land the biggest job offer that had evaded me the last time. Nothing was far from the truth then. I swore that it was the end of the road for me, academically speaking.
I wondered whether this meant I had kissed the gates of a University gooodbye until the time came to enroll my children? To cut that story short, I’m writing this in a university room for a university magazine.
I arrived at the university a few weeks ago with mixed of emotions. It was a nostalgic moment when I saw the view of DMU from Brown Street. First, the sight of DMU and the wall stating ‘WELCOME TO DMU” reminded me of my very last days on campus. We stood there and we took photos in our graduation gowns with friends, and said adios to DMU. If you asked me then, I would have sworn I’d never be back this soon. Secondly, I really couldn’t comprehend why I had chosen to return. As this was the enrolling day, I hesitated to approach John Whitehead building. But with my spirit being stronger than my body, there was nothing my body could do other than oblige. I enrolled for my doctorate still left in a dilemma.
I am now a month into the program and still struggling with some things. It is really hard to come to terms with why I had quit my job in an era where the media has painted a gloomy picture of the employment world. It’s never easy to make a choice of when it comes down to MONEY vs. KNOWLEDGE. As money is always tempting, I know most people have preferred to work rather than to learn. However, with the wisdom that money is never enough, I chose to seek knowledge as a substitute just to try and establish whether education can be all a man wanted. The arguments for and against would be enough to write a whole thesis, perhaps I should have chosen this as my study area.
Also, to date I’m still to come to terms as to what I’m doing here. Although it is expected that when developing a research proposal you’d have identified a specific area of study, it feels that I have a long way to go. Perhaps, it’s an indication that this is not my cup of tea. Maybe I wasn’t meant for this. I was destined for something else, let’s say to be a banker or an accountant etc. Where do I refer my mandate in life? I think God should have given us a manual of our lives describing what we were to do at different times in our lives. That way it would have been easier navigating around tough decisions like this.
Finally, I’m still figuring how to effectively utilize my time. There are days I completely do nothing whilst there are days I seem busy but with no productivity. Long and short days, nothing has taken shape yet. My days seem unstructured without the usual term schedule I was used to. Perhaps there should be a strict schedule to follow, that way I would be more organized than now.
Anyway as they always say, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. I have never felt this determined in years to tackle this one challenge. I’m aware it might require more than I’m willing to offer as of yet. But all withstanding I’m forewarned of the implications of my decision to return in the confines of the academic prison. As I engage in this roller-coaster of a ride I look forward to new experiences, making new friends, imagining new impediments and above all contributing to new knowledge in the field. Indeed, lets engage and rediscover ourselves again.
Question of the week?
Why did you join university (for freshers) or why did you sign up for a new year (returning students)?
I describe myself as an optimist and an entrepreneur who believes in possibilities rather than dwelling on imperfections of the mind, people or systems. In addition to exercising my intelligence in reading, I love sharing knowledge, making new friends, travelling and engaging in a fussy conversation about anything or nothing. I aspire to be a billionaire and help the world’s unfortunate children access education and better health care. My mantra in life is Think Big, start Small BUT Start Now” – William Murithi, PhD Candidate
