For many of you your University experience is just about to begin. You may have heard “a University friend is one for life”. This may be true but nothing can prepare you the characters’ you will meet here at DMU. If you are living in halls here are a few characteristics to look out for.

The ghost: There is always 1 person who misses everything because they lock themselves in their rooms. Chances are you’ll see the loch ness monster before you see this person in your flat. Always warm and welcoming yet totally absent from any social gathering.

The fire starter: A really nice guy who’s common sense escapee him. He’s an accident waiting to happen but still you stand back and watch. If you like flame-grilled chicken you’re in luck.



The lavish bum: Lives in Luxury for 3 days and is broke for the rest of the year. Usually hilarious and has a tendency to buy all those non-essential student essentials, like smoke machines… and 90% Absinthe.

The eat freak: The guy who’s meals will consist of tinned spaghetti for the whole year and whose idea of hot water and biscuits suffices as a meal. Pizza boxes will be stacked high and mighty and maybe… just maybe… if you’re lucky they will wash up.




The shy guy (who turns out to be the least shy): There is always one person that shows 20 percent of their personality the first few times you meet them. They barely say a word but overtime you struggle to get a word out in edge ways. Eventually they have to breathe? Don’t they?

The guy who can win it back: Never phased at staring into his rapidly depleting bank balance this guy has complete faith in his ability to survive on football accumulators and free food from winning pub quizzes and bingo. After all, god gave him wings…

The cheap guy: Give it a week and this guy will have worked out all the reduction times at the local stores. A £5 food bill covers them for the week with the added bonus of dining like a king feasting on 39p gammon steaks, 25p cheese and 9p loaves of bread. It may seem stingy but when they’re still going hard at the end of each term you’ll kind of wish you’d tagged along.



The casual drinker: In reality this person should have went to an AA meeting before freshers’ but still clings to the fact they can stop anytime they want. So you ask why not stop tonight? They reply: “I have a social to go to”.

The bin man: No one wants to take the bins out, fact. But when they’re overflowing to a point where you cannot move. Expect this person to collect cans and bottles in their rooms as trophies throughout the year.

Uni is full of these individuals embrace them because with this mix you will have the best time of your life. You will wonder how you lived without these weird yet strangely wonderful individuals.

Posted by Jobe Davenport

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