After being a regular summer festivaller for the past few years, I can still recall my virgin Nova Rock experience I had at the age of 16. Remaining in my ‘metal chick’ stage, I effortlessly packed five band tees, a pair of shorts, as well as my trusty, bright red Docs, which I have worn so many times I even gave myself a rather unattractive nickname of ‘Ronald Mcdonald’ at school. I walked around the field in the scorching heat, wearing my humble attire, with hair wet from the shower and absolutely no traces of makeup whatsoever.
This image, although now odd and unacceptable, will always remain the pure essence of carelessness that I do miss at times. Soon after, something called ‘a sense of style’ emerged and nestled in my mentality, and going to festivals was never going to be plain sailing again.
Looking at pictures of Kylie and Kendall Jenner from Coachella (also known as the ‘who spots more celebrities’ event), who wear their outfits, accessories and makeup absolutely impeccably from head to toe, you may think it’s going to be a piece of cake for you too.
Well, unless your idea of taking part in a festival is walking around the field and then going straight back to your stylist waiting patiently in the pimped out RV, your ‘fashionable festival’ experiment might just turn out to be a bit more complicated. Let me sketch it out for you:
You’re going to wake up in your stuffy tent as soon as the sun hits it (which is around 8 am, so no sleep for you, sweaty princess) and desperately crawl out of it a minute later, struggling for breath. The layers you’ve put on the absolutely freezing night before, will now resemble a swimsuit, unpleasantly stuck to your sizzling body. Don’t worry – you will continue frying in the direct sunlight for at least two more hours, queuing in the heat to be blessed with a SHOWER.
After a refreshing splash of water, you will then return to the tent of doom, immediately going back to the sweaty state from before. The gorgeous festival makeup you’ve studied so many tutorials for, will melt down your face before you have even finished applying it; ironically, the only things that won’t stick to your face are the tiny gems you will so persistently try to attach above your eyebrows for that ‘super cool ultimate bohemian look’.
Sparing you most of the gore details, in the next 24 hours you are going to alternate between feeling too hot and too cold, someone will step on your crochet shawl, tearing it in half. Sitting on the grass in tiny shorts will leave your bum covered in straw, making you look like you’ve just laid an egg and left your fellow chicks to go to a gig. The ‘extremely comfortable’ booties with super-cute tassles will make your heels bleed after an hour, making you feel like you just want to cut off the itchy band from your wrist and get the hell out of there – preferably, straight back to Mum and Dad for some tlc and a bath.
There you have it, the ugly truth revealed. Not everyone may have experienced it this way, but trying to be a fashionista at a festival has taken a lot of my joy and freedom – two things you do initially go there for. But, whether you still want to boil your swollen feet in 30 degrees heat by wearing Hunter wellies, or pop on your battered Converse’s and painlessly jump around for hours – the choice is always yours.
Bear in mind, you’ll most likely have to sacrifice either comfort or style. Which one do you choose? Let us know @thedemondmu !